A more important question than "what" is "why", but "why" can seem like it's leading to nowhere; In which case, "how" will take you where you wanna go, when the rest falls into place.READ MORE
I’m opening for Lucky tonight. Lucky “The Lights” Mcharvey, that smear-headed cheapo tourist crooner whose grease-ball hair has more show than himself. They spelled my name right this time on the marquee of my motel. Beneath Lucky’s name, you can read my name: JOHNNY SPARKS. You can read it all the way across the dirt road towards the main strip. I cannot see the main strip from my window, because the enormous marquee blocks my view. The hotel must book entertainers in this room... READ MORE
1.) A subscription to a nudie magazine that my parents wont find out about.
2.) A shirt that I can wear without being called a homosexual epithet, or getting the crap beat out of me.
3.) One year Immunization from the naughty list.
4.) My own set of elves, North Pole certified, trained and housebroken.
6.) A classic camouflaged hummer with a 360 degree rotating turret (functionality optional). None of that metro H2 shit.
7.) 007 Spy equipment... READ MORE
“Its almost as if she didn’t know how cool I was being”-Jack White “Take Take Take” (regarding an encounter with Rita Hayworth)
All I needed that night was my friends to flake out on me. Advice to readers: don’t flake out on people. We all have our plans, we all have our schedules, we all have places that we’d rather be (most given moments, I’d rather be somewhere else, so I’m always restless.) If you make a plan, stick with it, or move it... READ MORE
Three AM and I’m pulling my ass up off Demonbreun, a fragile Midwestern kid with ankles weakened with the spell of whisky, undeserving of my pair of Lucchese patented leather boots, 1883. These damn things feel like high-heels for men, now I know how all those girls feel tip-tapping around with dresses unsuitable for the wintry nip, all for the sake of some God-forsaken appeal that I have fallen (quite literally) victim to. But I’ll wear these boots, I’ll do my best to rock them. I’ll... READ MORE